JOHN CONNOR CHRONICLES
by LanaaLuthor
Summary: Who is really Cameron? Why John feels some deep connection to her? The answer lies in the future... but he'll have to get there first.
1. Chapter 1 cameron

**I found that story in my stuff and decided to publish it after all. I know it's far from perfect, it may lack of descriptions and the action may go to fast but... maybe some of you will enjoy how I see the series should end. **_  
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**I wrote that one summer after watching Terminator Salvation and the Sarah Connor Chronicles.  
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**I could make it better and rewrite it but I won't lie to you - I'm long out of the fandom and don't enjoy it anymore. My mind is now set on Smallville and finishing my longerst and best fanfiction - JexVille.**

* * *

_In the future a computer program called Skynet will declare war on the human race. Machines have travelled back in time, taking human form to terminate John Connor, the future leader of the resistance. Sarah Connor, John Connor's mother, teacher, and protector. Cameron, a terminator reprogrammed to defend them at all costs. Derek Reese, John's uncle and a commanding officer with the resistance. Together they fight to stop Skynet from ever being created. __The battle for our tomorrow starts today…_

* * *

It was just a robot, I was telling myself.

It was just a robot who wanted to kill you.

But if it was true then why I was standing with a gun in my hands, desperately aiming it at my mother and my uncle? My uncle who was the brother of my deceased father Kyle Reese? Mother who sacrificed everything to protect me? Two persons who were willing to give their lives for me?

Why was I doing this? Was I crazy? Or maybe I wasn't. I was doing it to protect the body and the chip of the robot who'd just wanted to kill me. A very beautiful female robot, I should've added. She'd been with us for a very long time now. I couldn't just get rid of her. I was risking my own life and the future of the whole mankind for what? For the beautiful eyes of a robot who would never feel anything for anybody? For a piece of metal who would stop as soon as it would complete its mission?

Hm… yeah, but not only for it. There was something else in her and I just hadn't figured it out yet. I felt that my whole future depended on Cameron and I couldn't kill her.

My mother was looking at me clearly terrified. She must think I was crazy, that I didn't care about the fact that my father had given his life for me. She was willing to do that too. Fortunately, she was still alive. Thanks to luck.

"Don't move!" I yelled to them and clenched my hands over the gun. "I'll shoot, I swear!"

Tears appeared in my mother's eyes and I could see disdain in my uncle's.

I came closer to Cameron and put the chip in its place.

She opened her eyes. For a while I thought I was wrong, there was nothing there, only emptiness, but then again there was something else… I couldn't tell what it was, because they immediately came back to normal. Maybe I was delusional?

"Cameron…?" My voice was trembling. I could pay with my life for this. I reached my hand with a gun in it to her. My mother and my uncle were still too shocked to move.

The robot took the gun, looked at it and then, when I was almost sure it would kill me she looked at me.

I spread my arms in surrender. If she wanted to kill me… well, there I was.

"Promise me you won't kill me," I whispered, still with hope.

She was watching my face the whole time. Emptily. Then, I had the impression that there was something in her eyes, but again – it was already gone before I could look closer.

_It's just a robot_ – I was telling to myself –_ just a robot. She doesn't feel, because she simply can't._ It was just a skeleton with a skin on it… no feelings, nothing… it was all fake…

I'd seen her for the first time in my new school. I would've never said that she'd been a robot. Never. No way! I'd been so sure that she'd been a human. She'd looked more human to me than everybody else out there. I'd been sure she'd been a girl, a beautiful girl who'd been interested in me.

She'd been the one to talk to me first. She'd been so… fantastic.

For w moment there I'd even thought she could've become my girlfriend. She could've understood why I'd been running all the time. She could've believed me that terminators had existed.

But those dreams had been over so soon… Our teacher had turned to be a machine and started shooting. Cameron… she'd covered me with her body and fallen down to the floor, dead, I'd thought. I'd thought that she'd just done it by accident. She hadn't shielded me because she'd wanted to…

When I'd managed to escape from the school building… she'd been there… in the car, she had been ok and she'd taken care of that terminator…

"Come with me if you wanna live," she'd said those wards to me and then opened the door for me.

That had been the beginning of the greatest story of my life. Much bigger than all the others…

The terminator who'd attacked me in the school had been still following me, so Cameron had taken me and my mom to the bank where some people from the future had hidden the machine to travel in time...

We'd gone forward and found a new house, we'd had a new life…

Cameron and I had gone to school as siblings… yeah, disaster, right?

My mother's 'almost' fiancé had appeared in our lives again and then, I'd met my father's brother – Derek.

We'd saved Derek's life – he'd been deeply wounded – and we'd been living together ever since. He'd hated Cameron though, hated every single terminator in the world and hadn't cared about the fact that she'd been sent to me to protect me, not to kill me… and there had been also something else… I'd had the impression that Derek had already known Cameron, so I'd asked.

"In the future… she's the only person you trust…" he'd finally said.

"Really? And this is the reason to hate her?" I'd gotten surprised.

"No robot is worth trusting over humans!"

"But I will trust her!"

"You trust… nobody… can you understand? Nobody! Nobody but her," he'd added.

"What?" Ok, that had shocked me a little. "Why? What is it with her?"

"I don't know. Kyle knew you better than me. You and I met only once."

"Such a pity that no one knows the truth…" I'd been wondering.

But one thought had just occurred to me… maybe I was the one who'd made her in the future? Or I would… time mixing... it's been so crazy!

I'd tried not to pay any attention to her as to a woman, so I'd shifted it to another girl from my new school - Riley. She'd been kind of strange, but she'd liked me.

Then Cameron's chip had broken down and she'd been trying to kill me… In one minute she'd been driving to a candy shop to buy me a birthday cake and in another… the car had exploded and she'd become a killer.

We'd ran to a church, but she'd found me anyway.

"We have to kill her," my mother had told me.

I'd been sitting down… overwhelmed… maybe I could've found some other way? Maybe I could've repaired her chip?

"John… John… are you listening to me? We have to!"

"I KNOW!" I'd roared clearly mad while everything inside of me had been screaming: NO!

Why?...


	2. Chapter 2 secrets

**Ok, I just wanted to tell you that THIS may differ from original plot of the series and the movie and it's not my mistake. I just altered this story.**

* * *

**There is a video to this - link in my profile**

* * *

Cameron had found me eventually, but we'd had set a trap.

She'd followed my blood stains on the floor and then, got electrocuted.

"2 minutes!" my mother had exclaimed.

"I have to remove the chip!" I'd yelled.

I'd done it before. I'd remembered that moment, when I'd been putting the chip back on its place I couldn't have stopped myself from stroking her head…

Now, I'd been cutting skin on her head, my hands shivering.

I'd managed to get to the metal part when…

"45 seconds!"

"Screwdriver! It doesn't match!" I'd answered.

"30! Too late! Run!"

We'd gotten into the car and driven away.

I'd had no idea how Cameron had done it, but she'd stood on our way a while later and hit the car so we would crash.

My mother had been stuck in there when I'd managed to get out...

"Go! John! Go! Run!" she'd told me.

I'd listened. What else could've I done?

I'd glanced at Cameron, I'd had the impression that she'd been struggling with herself… or maybe it'd been just my mind playing tricks on me.

I'd run to the nearest garage, but she'd followed me there so I'd gotten into one of the trucks and started the engine…

She'd stood on my way and busted the windshield. Suddenly, I'd seen my mother driving toward me in some other care. Together with the help of two cars we'd trapped Cameron between them. She'd been squeezed there helplessly, looking at me with those eyes…

I'd gotten out of the car.

"Don't do it, please!" she'd screamed to me, because she'd known what I'd been about to do – remove her chip.

"John!" my mother had yelled at me. "What the hell are you doing? Take it out! It's not her! It's never been her! It's a machine!"

"John! I'm good now, it's ok, I'm good now! Don't do this! You need me!..."

"John!"

"I love you! I love you and you love me!..." What? I'd thought. What the hell she'd been talking about? Machines weren't able to love. Period.

"John Connor!" my mother had been roaring at me now.

But what had she known about that word? _Love. _Had it been just an abstraction to her?

I'd removed the chip…

"John, what did she say?" my mother had asked me while getting out of the car, but I hadn't said anything back.

If I hadn't saved Cameron I would've never found out what she'd been really talking about…

I'd been sitting down and cleaning up the chip.

"John… give it to me," it'd been my uncle.

I'd noticed that he and my mom had put Cameron's body to a trailer.

"We have to burn it," my mother had said.

I'd sighed.

"What if… maybe we should give her a chance?" I'd asked.

"She'll kill you," my mother had already decided. "We cannot risk your life."

I'd put down the chip and held Cameron's hand… I'd been just about to set the flare on fire when I'd taken out the gun and pointed it at my family.

"Don't move!"

* * *

And now, I was standing right in front of Cameron, looking into her eyes, waiting… would she kill me or not? I just let the machine decide about my life. I was nuts! Why did I do that? What was it about her? What made me do this? I would've never acted like that in the past! Maybe she knew the answer? She was from the future after all.

"I promise. I won't kill you," she said while still looking at me and then she gave me my gun back.

My mom and Derek didn't say anything, they just turned round and walked away. They were still mad at me and I couldn't blame them.

"Why did I do that?" I asked Cameron. "Do you have some answer for me?"

"You'll find out one day," she said and also walked away.

I was standing there, still in shock and I didn't have enough courage to ask about other stuff.

* * *

I was avoiding her. I didn't know why. Maybe I was scared of myself? I knew what I was capable of now and it scared the hell out of me. All the time I was wondering who Cameron would be for me in the future… or maybe I should've said "what"...

Why Derek had said I would trust her in the future? And why would I trust a machine? Would I be that desperate that I wouldn't be able to trust anyone else? Not a single human being? Would I be the one to program Cameron?

And maybe I would never find out, because we might actually stop SkyNet.

But there was something that I had to admit… My father had been sent back in time to help my mother, thanks to him she'd had me, but… it looked like it was meant to be, like whatever he or she would've done… they would've ended up creating me anyway. So, what if we couldn't change anything? What if there actually was a destiny? What if there was some deeper reason why Cameron had been sent here?

I sighed. I had to find a way to get everything out of Cameron. She'd said to me that her memory had been erased but… she'd remembered Derek, she'd known the answers to my questions! So that meant she'd lied to me! She remembered everything!

Anyway, right now I couldn't do anything, because my mom and Cameron were on a mission.

I was left behind, because I couldn't skip school – it would drive unnecessary attention to me.

Maybe I should've spent some more time with Riley? She could take my attention away from Cameron.

I remembered how we'd met…

* * *

"Hey, you are John Baum, right?" I'd heard and looked up. I'd seen a blond girl from my class.

"Yeah…"

"Won't you ask my name?"

"So, what's your name?"

"Riley."

"Nice to meet you."

* * *

I invited Riley to my house and when she dug out some ice cream from the fridge my mom and Cameron came back.

Cameron looked at her strangely like she wanted to scare her off.

"I'm Riley… everything's ok?" she hesitated while waving to them.

"John, can I talk to you for a second?" mom asked me and took me out of the kitchen.

"Sure…"

"What do you think you're doing? You're bringing strangers to our house?"

"She's just a friend from school," I opposed. "She's not dangerous!"

"Ok. But don't ever do that again, promise?"

"Yeah…" I said unwillingly and took Riley to my room.

"Your family is strange," she said. She seemed to always say what was on her mind.

We were sitting on the bed and talking when Cameron walked in.

"John, mom needs you."

I sighed.

"Can it wait?"

"No. I don't think so…"

I got up and ran downstairs.

"MOM? Mom, where are you?"

"What?" she walked out of the bathroom.

"What is that you want?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Cameron said you wanted something from me."

"I didn't."

I suddenly heard Riley's footsteps on the stairs and then she ran out of the house.

There was no chance I could catch her, she was already gone.

"What did you tell her?" I yelled at Cameron.

She walked to the drawer, took a stapler from it and then… she stapled her cut hand.

"You showed her THAT?" I went mad.

"I had to," she answered calmly.

"Why?"

"Because you told me to."

"What?"

"You. From the future. You told me to do this." After having said that she just walked away.

"Cameron!" She didn't come back.

Why the heck the future me would want to scare my potential girlfriend off? And why would I care? There was enough to care! Like saving the world for example!


	3. Chapter 3 death

I decided to find Riley. I had to calm her down and found out what Cameron had actually showed or told her.

I knew that Riley liked hanging out on the jetty, so that was the place I started looking and… bingo, she was there.

"Riley!" I ran to her.

"Go away! Leave me alone!" she turned her back on me.

"I won't without any explanation."

"What's to explain?" she asked.

"What was it that Cameron told you?"

"You know what? You're all amazingly screwed up! Your whole family with you in the centre!"

"Please, just tell me what was it and if you want to go afterwards I'll let you go. I promise."

Riley sighed and said:

"She said that she wasn't your sister and that she loved you and she also said thet you hadn't realized it yet and then… she cut her hand showing me… what the hell was that?"

"Oh God." I put my hands to my head. I certainly didn't expect that.

"And then she started crying and I ran away. Can I go now? I don't want to see you anymore, John."

"Wait! What do you mean she started crying?"

"Crying. It's a normal thing, isn't it?"

"Wait… you actually saw her tears?"

"Yes! You're really nuts, you know that?"

I took her arm to stop her.

Cameron? Robot? Tears? It didn't make any sense!

"Let me go, you freak!"

Suddenly I heard a gun shot. Riley fell down on the ground.

"Riley!"

It was too late, she was already dead.

I raised my head to see a… terminator.

Another one.

I ran as fast as I could.

He followed me.

Riley died because of me! My mom, Cameron… they were all right! I shouldn't have been spending time with her…

I didn't know where to run, so I jump into the water. Terminator followed me, but I was lucky, he couldn't swim, he was obviously too heavy for that.

I got out right on the shore and saw Cameron standing right there, waiting for me.

"Maybe you could help?" I asked sarcastically.

"I don't swim," she answered.

"I just noticed. That one drowned."

"He'll be back. Come with me." She gave me her hand.

"Riley said you were crying."

"What?"

"Machines don't do that. Who are you? I don't think she imagined the tears. And why the heck did you tell her that you loved me?"

"And what else could I have said, John? I wanted to keep her away. You wanted to save her life, but you failed…"

* * *

When we came back home I went straight to my room and shot the door. I didn't want to see anybody or talk to anybody.

I heard Cameron and my mom from downstairs, they were loading the guns. Why? Had they expected something? The answer came sooner than I thought it would.

Terminator came back.

I ran downstairs and stood face to face with it.

I immediately turned and started running again.

Cameron got out of the living room and started shooting to it.

"John!" my mother screamed. "We prepared a trap for it in the garage!"

I nodded, took a gun and shot him to drive his attention.

"Hey!"

He turned to me as I expected and Cameron was now shooting his back.

I ran to the garage, it followed me and got electrocuted.

We had 2 minutes.

Cameron got to him and took out his chip.

"Ok, let's burn it down," she said.

* * *

I was standing on the side, watching the terminator's body burning.

My mother came closer to me and put her hand on my shoulder.

"I heard about Riley, I'm so sorry…"

I didn't say a word.

"John, it wasn't your fault."

"It was. I could've pushed her away, but I desperately needed someone normal in my life," I sighed while still watching Cameron getting rid off the metal body.

* * *

**ok, this chapter sucks, I know that but: see: chapter 1**

**AND... I know I'm kind of... or I was for that matter because I did write it a long time ago - copy the series but it will get to a new place soon.  
**


	4. Chapter 4 the truth

"John, I need you to come with me," Cameron said to me.

It was late and she hadn't been talking to me for days. What happened that today she decided to?

"Go where?" I sighed and looked at her puzzled.

"You'll see. It will be safe." She took my hand.

"Do we have to hide? Are we in danger?" I asked surprised.

"No. I just want to show you something."

I had no idea what she was talking about. Sometimes I had the impression that she was trying to act like a robot, not that she WAS a robot. I must be stupid.

I followed her to the car and she drove to…

"A disco?" I bobbed my eyebrows. "Cameron, I'm not sure it's such a good idea." Maybe her chip had broken again?

"Trust me," she said and walked inside.

She left me right by the entrance and disappeared.

I looked around.

Maybe there was somebody inside that we supposed to rescue?

I looked for her and then I saw her. She was standing in the centre of the dancing floor… no, she wasn't standing… she was… dancing!

I was so shocked that I couldn't make another step forward.

From all the people inside she was dancing the best and she looked… completely normal. No one would say that she was a machine. I would call myself that, but no her.

I watched her like I was hypnotized. I watched her body moving in the tact of the music, I watched her hair falling down her back, moving with her… I felt some kind of fire inside of me what terrified me.

Before I noticed I got closer to her and soon we were standing right next to each other. I couldn't stop looking into her eyes. They looked so… alive and they had such a wonderful brown color.

The music changed into something slower and she took my hand while getting even closer to me. She put her hands around my neck and I could feel her breath on my skin. The fake breath of a machine!

But against even my own will I put her closer and started dancing too. She moved back a little and I saw her face so close to mine for the first time and then… I just kissed her.

When our lips touched all I wanted to do was to kiss her to the end of the world and I felt my body on fire.

Then I was surprised that she kissed me back… and I realized...

What the hell was I doing?

I moved back, pushing her away.

"Stop! You are a machine! You can't feel!"

"And what your heart tells you?" she just asked, scaring me to death with that question.

I turned round and ran away, I had to come back home.

* * *

I laid down on my bed and started thinking… no, maybe it would be better for me not to think at all. I needed to forget.

But how could I forget something like that? Could anybody fall in love with a machine?

It was ridiculous!

Half an hour later the door to my room opened and I saw her again.

I didn't know what to say, I tried to calm myself down.

She shut the door behind her, got closer to me and sat on the edge of my bed.

"Cameron… I…" I started, but she just took my face in her hands and kissed me again.

I couldn't control myself.

"Stop!" I finally pushed her back. "I can't! It's wrong! You're a machine and it's sick!"

"I am not a machine… at least… I wasn't," I heard her saying. She was shivering. HER! WHAT?

"Yeah, right…" I snorted. "Nice try."

She reached for my hand again and placed it on her heart… it was beating…

"What the…" I stammered in shock.

"I think it's time for you to learn our story."

"Our?"

"Yes. You were always telling me that there was no such love in this world as ours."

"What the hell are you talking about? When?" I was confused. I understand nothing.

"In the future. You will tell me that. Be quiet and just listen to me, it's not easy to say it." She took a deep breath and started: "I didn't come here to help you stop SkyNet. You cannot stop it. In this case there is no way to do this, the fate wins… SkyNet will rise and there is nothing you can do…" My face was probably white as paper now. "I'm here for this very moment. I'm here to tell you… in a half year I will take you to the shelter, so you will be able to survive the Judgment Day. Then, I will use the machine hidden in that place to come back to the future. After a few years… you will be the leader of the Resistance and you will start looking for Cameron Philips. You will find her eventually and you will save her. You will fall in love and get married… then after some time she will be attacked by a terminator, the very same who wanted to kill your mother, who killed your father and helped you when you were just a kid. You won't be able to save me, but you will be able to put my mind and my body into a terminator's body… a new model… you will create half a human, half a machine. I will still be your wife, it will still be me and I will have all of the human emotions and movements, but the body will be fake. You will send me back in time so I could find you and save your life… and the circle is over."

She finished and I could see the tears in her eyes.

I couldn't say a word for a while and then…

"You… you were a human and… _I_ did this to you?"

"Yes. You loved me too much to just let me go."

"But… how… how did… will I do this?"

"You'll know when the time is right."

"I'm sorry…" I suddenly said.

"For what?"

"It must've been so hard for you… seeing me not caring about you like the future me…"

"You know what? It was worse with your appearance… I knew you as the mature, grown-up man and now you are just a teenager…"

"Hey!"

She laughed.

"I'm joking… the hardest part was to act like a machine."

"But… how could I've done this to you? Machines… I'm supposed to hate them and I made one out of you…"

"Again… you will understand… in your own time."

"I promise… I will became the John Connor you remember."

"It doesn't matter. I love you. You know… since you gave me the body of a machine I can't sleep, but I love watching you sleeping at nights."

"Do you… do you look the same as you used to?"

"Yes. You gave me the exact body. There is no difference from the outside. You want what's the craziest thing is?"

"What?"

"My first time with you was when you had already done it and vice versa… now I've done it already and you haven't."

"What?" But instead of an answer she started kissing me again.


	5. Chapter 5 end of days

I opened my eyes. Cameron was there, right beside me.

"You're awake," I heard her voice.

"How did you know that?" I asked surprised. "You can't see my face…"

"I've spent a lot of nights like that, John, I can tell when you're sleeping and when you're not."

"Jeez…" I whispered and sat up. I couldn't adjust.

"How will I know how to turn you into a machine?" I asked.

"Believe me, you will."

"Really?"

"Trust me, you wouldn't risk your future self, would you?"

"I guess…"

"John…" She took my face in her hands. "Everything will be alright, I promise you that." She kissed me.

"John!" I heard my mother calling.

"Run!" I told Cameron and started putting my clothes on.

"John…" My mother walked into my room.

"Could you knock?" I growled at her.

"I'm sorry… I keep forgetting that you're not a child anymore… isn't too cold for sleeping without a shirt?" she asked, looking at me.

"No…" I answered quickly.

"Have you seen Cameron?"

"I'm right here." Cameron stood right behind my mom, causing her to jump.

"Cameron… you scared me… I need you, so come with me."

* * *

They came back in the evening. I missed Cameron the whole day and it made me wonder… would I be a good leader if I was distracted by love?

The door to my room opened.

"Didn't I tell you to kno… oh, it's you." It was Cameron.

"Your mother laid down," she said and came over to me.

"Where were you today?" I asked.

"Checking things, but it was just another false alarm."

"Why couldn't I go?"

"You have school… besides… you mother doesn't want to put you in any unnecessary danger."

"Who cares about school if there's war coming?" I wondered. "I should've gone to some military school…"

She laughed.

* * *

But there was no reason to laugh in the morning.

"JOHN?"

I immediately sat on my bed. It was mom… and Cameron was still in my room, she didn't manage to escape.

"Mom… it's... it's not what you think," I said the typical cliché.

"Really? Not what I think? Do you want to tell me that in the future my son will be in love with a machine? Don't tell me that this love will be rewarded! You think that she'll give what you need? I'd rather die than see this!"

"Mom, she's not a machine," I said.

"I'm his wife," Cameron suddenly answered and… this one sentence destroyed everything. I looked at her, clearly mad.

Yeah, that was what you wanted to tell your mother… I've would laughed if I hadn't been so stunned.

"Mom, let's go downstairs and we explain it all, Ok? It's really not what you think."

"It better be good," she sighed while trying to calm herself down.

* * *

"But... how is that even possible? How can you put a brain and a heart into a machine…?" my mother asked, puzzled and terrified.

"I don't know," I answered according to the truth.

"Cameron?" she turned to her.

"I can't tell anything else. It could affect John's future and he will have to make a lot of hard decisions before he will became the leader I know."

My mother hid her face in her hands.

"God!" she yelled.

"And what will happen to my mom?" I suddenly asked.

Cameron looked at her and then she got up and left the room.

"Cameron?" I ran after her. "Why did you leave like that?"

"John, I just… can't… I can't… I have to provide you a survival. That's all."

"What about my mother?"

"You won't change anything. If you like… you can take her to a doctor, but I can say… it won't change a thing."

I was just standing there. Puzzled. A doctor? Was my mom sick? And there was nothing I could do? She would just… die?

"Mom!" I exclaimed and got back to her. "I'm taking you to a doctor!"

She looked at me.

"No," she just said.

"What? What do you mean 'no'?"

"You heard Cameron, it won't change a thing. There's nothing that can help me now."

"Wait… you already knew, didn't you?"

"John, next year the Judgment Day will happen… there is no time for any treatment, but I think it wouldn't be successful after all… I have a tumor… a very bad one…"

I was stunned.

"But… why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to worry you, John. I've been headaches, but I hid it…"

"And how did you find out in the first place?"

"Cameron told me."

"WHAT? Cameron!" I called for her. She must've heard the desperation in my voice, because she came back. "You knew and you told her, but not me?" I had tears in my eyes.

"I'm sorry, John…" she just said.

I ran out of the house. I didn't want anybody to see my like this and I didn't want to talk to anybody right now.

I stopped in the backyard and my knees just bent down, so I fell to the lawn.

"John…" Cameron went after me anyway. "It will be ok, you'll see… we can manage… we have each other… you won't be alone… I promise."

Then I felt her arms around me.

* * *

Mom's headaches were getting worse and worse and I couldn't do anything to make her feel better… then she got stronger and stronger medicines and in the end… the strongest… morphime.

She died a week before the Judgment Day.

We buried her in our yard… I matched the grave, so I would be able to come back there… where it all would be over… some day…


	6. Chapter 6 judgement day

"John?" I was thinking so hard that I barely heard Cameron. "John, I have to take you to your shelter soon."

"What if we… killed John Connor? Would that change something in this war?" I suddenly asked her.

"Yes," she answered, "machines would certainly win, besides, I won't let to kill the man I love."

"I'm not even that man yet," I sighed.

"But you will be. You will be a wonderful man," she said while putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Are you… mortal?" I asked another question. "You know… machines usually…"

"I'm programmed so I'll die when you die."

"Jesus!" I put my hands on my head.

"I was the one who wanted that," she added. "I forced you."

"Sure."

"Please, John, you have to believe me. You wanted me to have a change for a long happy life, but I didn't. That's the truth."

I stood up and put my arms around her. If I would have to become the man she was keep telling me about I might as well start now. I had to be stronger.

"So… why will we lose that war if I die?" I asked.

"Because you will make a certain decision that will save us from doom."

"And you probably can't tell me what decision, am I right?"

"I've already said too much," she cut me off.

"Ok. I'll go to that shelter, but… I won't look for you afterwards." I made my decision.

"Excuse me?" she raised her voice.

"If I meet you, you'll die because of me. You'll become a machine."

"John…" She cupper my face and looked me deep in the eye. "Listen to me. If you don't look for me I'll die anyway. SkyNet will kill me, because I'll be its slave… besides, I love you and I'm willing to take every chance. Do you understand? You have to promise me that you will do exactly like I said!"

"Ok, ok, I promise," I gave up.

It seemed like there was no coming back.

She took me to a military shelter.

"They sent people from the future to build this," she told me while turning off some machines and closing the door in the same time.

One of them looked out of place here and…

"What are you doing?" I asked, but I thought I already knew the answer.

"I'm coming back. To the future."

"Why? Can't you stay a little bit longer?" I didn't understand her. What was so urgent? I would be here all alone anyway. What would I do?

"I can't. I miss them. For you in the future it will be only one day of my absence. I'll be back the day after I'd gone back, but for me…"

"Oh, ok." So, she did love the future me more than the present. Auch.

I didn't say anything, I just pulled her into embrace, kissed her and tried to figure out how to survive without her now. Who knew how long it would last before I would finally see her again.

No, I just couldn't let it go. I had to know. I would take it, like a man.

"I don't still don't understand what's so urgent. Aren't I enough for you? You prefer the older me, don't you?"

She just laughed.

"I'll kiss our children from you," she said and… disappeared.

WHAT? Children?


	7. Chapter 7 this is john connor

I was in such a shock that I had to lean against the wall. Children? We would have kids? So that was why she'd wanted to go back so badly! She'd missed them.

I didn't even notice when computers' screen blackened, then I felt the tremor. So it started. The Judgment Day.

After some time I heard through the radio:

"Is anybody out there? Speak! Over!"

I was standing there, staring at it and I was unable to move.

"We've been under attack! We're in the bunker. New York. Over."

I finally reached the radio.

"I'm here," I said.

"How many?"

"One."

"Commander?"

I swallowed hard.

"Yes. This is John Connor. The commander of the Resistance."

"Of what…? Never mind. I have no idea who attacked us…"

"I do," I cut in, "and it's not _who_, it's _what._"

* * *

"We have to unite. The machines need to be stopped. I'm asking you for help and support. If you still out there, if anybody is out there, if anybody is still alive… join us. We will provide food, we will provide shelter and we will provide safety. We need all of you…" I took a deep breath. "This is John Connor. If you're listening to that, you are the Resistance." I turned the radio off. I'd been broadcasting every day now.

It'd been two years since I'd left the bunker that Cameron had locked me in. When I had I'd quickly joined the peopled I'd been talking to through the radio, but I wasn't their leader yet. Now, I was just one of higher rank people.

I'd been looking for Cameron since she'd left, but it'd been fruitless so far. She hadn't even told me when I would find her or when I should start to look!

It was all so strange and bizarre. My longing and love for her gave me strength to get up, fight and look every single day.

But I'd been starting to be desperate, because still, I hadn't come across a way to make a machine out of a human.

I grew up very quickly, I'd already started becoming the man Cameron had told me that I would be, but still… I felt that there was a long path ahead of me.


	8. Chapter 8 she

**I heard some rumors that some M Rated stories are being taken down, so I also have my LiveJournal now. Link is in my profile and my name there is trinity023. You can find them a complete list of my fanfictions / in progress, I'm constatly updating it/.**

**This has nothing to do with that particular story since it's only T, but I think you should know.**

* * *

Another half a year had passed by…

We'd all gotten used to the new world by now, we'd settled down if we could even call it that way. Our home was yet underground, so the machines couldn't track us. There was also a submarine with a command centre, but I was there only where it came to very important cases.

Then… one day… a new life started for me.

One of my soldiers burst into my room.

"Machines just set a trap for another group of civilians! John… I have to show you something!"

"What is it? What are you so excited?" I looked at him, curious with what he was about to tell me.

"Is that how she looks?" He handed me his camera, so I could look at the picture.

It was Cameron.

"Oh my God! Yes! I remember her with a little shorter hair, but that's her!" I was staring at the picture, reminiscing on the past and comparing. She looked much younger here. "Where is she? I need to save her!"

"Relax, easy there." He put his hands on my shoulders. "We're just sending our people up there to save the prisoners. You can go with them."

"No, I'll take my own ship," I decided. "I need to make sure she'll be ok. Do you remember the story I told you? Saving her is as much important as saving my mother in the past by finding Kyle Reese."

"I know. Don't worry, we'll find him, later. Now, go! And… John?"

"Yeah?" I turned in the door.

"Remember that she doesn't know you, so don't scare her with some hug or ever worse, a kiss."

"Ok." I almost laughed/ It would be difficult to restrain myself, but I could manage.

I ran out of there feeling really excited for the first time since… since she'd left me.

I took my ship and soon, I found myself on place.

I started looking for her in the crowd of people that had been just saved from machines…

…and then, I saw her.

I felt hot, my heart started beating faster and faster.

I'd spent almost three years being completely alone, trying to keep myself alive and keep fighting. Every day I'd been waking up, thinking about her. She'd been the only thing that had kept me going and now… now she was here. I finally felt alive.

She was so beautiful, so scared, so lost.

Not for long, my dear, I thought, not for long.

"Cameron Philips?" I finally made my way to her and asked with a little shaky voice.

She looked at me and I felt like there was no one there beside us.

"You know me?" She asked while looking at me closely.

"Yes. Come with me. We need you."

"Need me? Who are you?"

"John Connor."

She shot me a look of disbelief…


	9. Chapter 9 heartbeat

„John Connor?" she repeated Chile astonished, then she smiled broadly.

"Yes. Do you know me?"

"No. We've never met before, have we?"

"Ehm…"

"Have we?"

"This is… complicated," I admitted. It wasn't my intention to lie to her. "Come with me, it's not safe here."

I took her to my ship.

"Fasten your seatbelt," I told her.

My heart was beating so loudly that I was pretty sure she could hear it.

"What about the others?" she asked.

"They'll go in another ship. There's enough space there."

"Why me?"

"How come that you know my name?" I answered, ignoring her question.

"I listen to your auditions. I was in serious danger once and they helped me. You're giving a lot of clues how to deal with those machines and you're amazing speaker."

"Thank you." I just couldn't look at her right now, so I kept my eyes ahead. I could feel her eyes fixed on me, though.

"I didn't imagine you like that," she confessed.

"Really?" This time I just had to look. She'd told me the exact thing once!

"I thought you were just a great speaker, that you were constantly sitting and broadcasting while others were fighting, but I was wrong. You're a strong soldier."

I almost laughed.

"What is it?" she asked me, confused. "You look like you remembered something funny."

"I will be completely honest with you, Cameron. You've already told me that before."

"What? I would remember."

"No, you wouldn't, because it hasn't happened for you yet."

She was looking at me, totally off track.

"Wait a minute… but it has nothing to do with that… time traveling?"

"Sorry."

"Who will send me back in time?"

"I will."

"Why?"

"So you will be able to find me and…"

"Tell me!" she demanded.

She was taking it surprisingly well. That was Cameron after all. She was strong.

"It's too personal. First, you have to get to know me. I would scare you away if I told you now."

"So, tell me a little."

"It's thanks to you that I'm here right now. You were the one who put me in shelter. You're the reason I survived the Judgment Day."

"Oh God… I must really cared about you…"

"I'll tell you my story…"


	10. Chapter 10 the past

I took her to my place, to my rooms, pointed her the chairs by the table and made some tea.

When I put two teaming cubs down, I sat across her.

She started at me.

"I'm sorry," she said, a little embarrassed. "I just… can't believe that… I'm sitting right in front of you, that you chose me." She laughed and shook her head.

She looked so… human. As a machine she could do everything, but just now I noticed how natural she actually was as a human.

Someday I would miss it a lot…

"You know… when I was out there… where SkyNet could kill me anytime… we were always gathering to listen to your auditions. If it hadn't been for you we would've given up a long time ago. Thanks to you we all believed that not everything was lost, that we supposed to fight for our survival."

Those words were giving me great comfort.

"I didn't even realized how much those auditions mean to people," I admitted and there was silence. Now, I was the one who was staring, I was looking for any difference in her look from the machine I'd known. The truth was I couldn't find any, in the future I would do a really good job.

I sighed heavily.

"I'll keep making them, I'll keep broadcasting" I told her and she smiled.

"You said that I was… or will be… it's so confusing… that I will be send to your past. Why me?"

"I can't tell you right now," I confessed. "You'll understand it one day, I promise. I don't want to push you, I want you to get there on your own, to have your own choice."

"Hey…" she whispered and touched my hand. "What's bothering you?"

Something inside of me stirred. I wanted to just pull her close and kiss her, but I couldn't. I wanted her to fall for me, because she wanted to, I didn't want to tell her that she would.

"I will tell you my story as I promised," I told her, ignoring her question.

"I'm listening."

"Machines were traveling back through time to kill me. They killed my father, tried to kill my mother…"

When I finished she was in shock. Too much, I thought, it was just my story and it was already too much for her.

"Oh God… poor thing. They wanted to kill you before you were even born… and your father… you say what was his name?"

"Kyle Reese."

"John… I… I met him."

"What did you just say?"

"Few years ago. I was so young, still a child you could say. He's fine. At least he was then."

I had tears in my eyes and couldn't hide it now.

"Do you know where he may be?"

"No, sorry. But I can tell that he is special. He has a very strong will to live. I'm sure he'll survive. Our mothers were friends… well… mine is dead now…" she looked down.

"I'm sorry…"

"You didn't tell me what happened with Sarah?" she asked.

"This is the part of my story with you in it, but I can tell you that she… died. Cancer."

"I'm so sorry, John."

After few minutes of silence she asked:

"Where can I sleep? Do you have any free room in here?"

"You can stay here. I have a lot of place… and I need you."

She just nodded.


	11. Chapter 11 echo

I woke up first, so I went to make some coffee and then she walked into the kitchen.

"Good morning." I smiled to her.

"Good morning," she answered.

"Have you have a good night sleep?"

"Very good."

I poured her some coffee and pointed the free seat by the table.

"Thanks." She sit down. "When you tell me?"

"What?" I raised my head, looking at her questiongly. /pytajaco/

"What I changed in your past? What I will do in my future?"

I sighed heavily.

"Everything in its own time."

"Why? Is it something bad?"

"No, just the contrary. I just… I don't want to pressure you."

"Pressure me?"

I stopped talking for a moment.

"Ok, I give up. Better start looking for some place for me to stay."

"You can stay here. I told you."

"Is that an order?"

"No, but we have very little place here and I'm living here all alone."

"Strange. You're nobody important."

"I will be."

"Well, yeah, but now… ok, I'm slowly losing in all of this. Were we… friends? Because I'm sure we weren't enemies in your past."

"Yeaah… something like that."

"Are you in love with me?" she suddenly asked and made me totally confused.

"Why?"

"Don't get me wrong. You just… look at me in different way than anybody else… in… special way… you obviously know something that I don't or feel something… that I don't feel… yet…" she added hesitantly like she was afraid she would hurt me.

Fortunately, I didn't manage to answer, because somebody knocked on my door.

"John… They need you! We discovered another camp of survivors… but so did machines. There is a possibility that Kyle Reese is there."

I jumped to my feet.

"Where will you be back?" Cameron asked me.

"I don't know, I'm sorry. Wait for me."

"Always… it's not like I have somewhere else to go now," she shrugged.

We spent dozens of long hours, freeing SkyNet prisoners since machines had gotten there first, but there was no Kyle.

I came back after three days and hit the shower, after having done that I came back to my rooms.

Cameron was sitting on the sofa, looking at the distance blindly. Then, she turned her head to me. She looked like she'd been doing nothing but worrying all that time.

"Do you have any idea how scared I was for you?" she yelled at me.

"No… but I told you…"

"I was dying of fear for you here!"

"Nothing would happen to me," I told her, a little confused and surprised with her reaction. "I have to do a lot of things before I go, remember?"

"That doesn't mean that you can keep risking your life! You're acting like somebody told you that no matter what you'll do, you'll survive!"

"Hey, calm dawn. Ok, I'll be more careful, I promise." I made my way to her and suddenly she jumped to me and put her arms around my neck.

"I don't know what's happening to me," she whispered and looked me in the eye.

"I do," I said and just kissed her. I was tired of restraining myself, tired of waiting… I was acting on an impulse, so there was no way I would manage to stop myself. Maybe it was meant to be.

I was alone anymore, I felt hole. Now, I understand what she had in mind when she'd told me in the past that I would want to save her no matter what prize it would be, I couldn't exist without her. I was a ghost, not a human being when she wasn't around.

She was the one.

And this was my time to enjoy her when she was a human.

"Do you know that my first time was with you when you haven't done it yet and vice versa?" I suddenly asked her before I could stop myself. Shit!

"What?" she made a step back to be able to look at my face.

"You told me that a long time ago…"


	12. Chapter 12 honesty

In the next few weeks we'd gone all the way…

"You love me, don't you?" she asked.

"Yes," I confessed. I didn't see any sense in lying about that right now. I had to be honest with her since she would be the only person I would trust one hundred percent.

"When did you start loving me?"

"Few years ago. I think that from the very first sight… but it was all… will be for you… much complicated than you think."

"Why? Why will you send me? So I would make you fall for me? That's rather foolish reason to send somebody back through time."

"I'll send you so you could protect me, save my life. You are the one thanks to whim I survived the Judgment Day."

She looked at me quite stunned.

"To protect you? I know that I'll be a little older than you then, but… you will always be physically stronger than me."

I sighed and closed my eyes.

"I'm not sure whether to tell you now or later," I admitted.

"John, I think you owe me that."

"I guess I do. I won't stop you if you want to leave. If you do I won't survive the Judgment Day, but I don't care. You are the most important."

"John! How can you say that? Survival of our world is much bigger than we are!"

"Maybe…"

"You really are in love."

"You have no idea how badly. I'm in love so badly that I would do anything not to let you die. Anything."

"So, I'll die?"

"No."

"Will you stop it?"

So, I told her. I didn't know if I should do it now or after. She'd never told me. Maybe she'd known that I would make the right decision and left it to me. Otherwise she would've said something, right?

There was silence. Cameron was in shock.

"A machine? Me?"

"No. A human in a machine."

"But… I will live?"

"You told me that you didn't feel much difference. You just had… will have to… learn how to control your new strength."

"If you say so…"

"You can go, you can still save your life. Just go, screw the Judgment Day."

"What are you talking about?"

"You heard me."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can. It's your life."

"I can't. Don't you get it, John? I can't be away from you right now."

I looked at her closely and she kissed me.

"So I accept everything. It's too much anyway. You brought to my life so much joy… I'm falling for you."


	13. Chapter 13 pregnancy

And it went on…

I'd been desperately looking for my father for fear that I might miss the right moment.

But I succeeded with finding Cameron and now we got married, so I had to believe that other stuff would go as well.

The worst was behind me. I'd survived and I'd found _her._

Right now I kept listening to my mother's tapes.

"…I think I'll tell you who he was one day…" Sarah Connor just finished talking.

She had told me.

The door opened and Cameron walked inside.

"You're still here?" she asked with care in her voice.

I just nodded.

She made her way to me and sat on my laps

"Honey, you're exhausted," she said and placed a soft kiss on my forehead. "Get some rest. You just came back from your mission and went straight here."

"I'm sorry, I know, I haven't been spending much time with you recently." I rubbed my eyes and put my arms around her, burying my face in her hair. "I just… I keep thinking that I missed something, something important on that tapes, some clue."

"I don't think your mother would talk in riddles," I told him. "She just told you what you have to know, she didn't give you any plan. That it's up to you alone."

"I wonder… why hadn't I told you to tell me more when I was younger?"

"Maybe you'll understand in a couple of years."

"Maybe."

"But I think I already know."

"Really?"

"You didn't want any change or… when you finally figured it all out you didn't want to make things easier for the younger you, you were proud of yourself that you did it. Sometimes we have to do something by ourselves, without help to reach a certain point of maturity in our life."

"I guess you're right." I smiled to her.

"You know, I wanted to tell something very important, but you didn't give me a chance."

"I'm sorry. I was desperate, because I still haven't found him…"

"I'm pregnant."

"What?" I suddenly stopped thinking about my father or SkyNet. That news was like a fresh air to me.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"It's wonderful!"


	14. Chapter 14 down

After a couple of months Cameron's pregnancy became evident.

Still, nothing changed in our life. I'd been looking for Kyle and for a way to make a machine out of my wife.

I'd been out on an action again. My people had found a new place hidden underground, where SkyNet had used to experiment. We had to check it up. I couldn't pass on any opportunity now. I had to look for a new information all the time. I couldn't me a commander on that trip, but it wasn't a problem, I just volunteered to help.

They were right. We found some old terminators' part on shelves, probably 800.

"They were building something new," one of my soldiers noticed.

"They tried…" I looked at the scheme. I could be it! "We haven't seen something like that before," I said. "I'll go check it up further there." I pointed the darkness.

"We've already checkup it up. It's clear."

"I'll have to see it on my own eyes. It's ok, I'll go alone, I won't be putting anybody else at risk. Wait for me up there." I pointed the hole in the ceiling we'd come through.

Yes, that was true that I couldn't trust no one in one hundred percent, but only because they didn't know everything. I couldn't tell them about Cameron's future, that was something I had to keep for myself, so I had to go there and checked it up. Only I knew what I was looking for.

They were right. There was nothing there.

I came back. And then… something struck me. Terminators attacked my people when I was downstairs! It looked like after the battle. I was spared, because I was down there, lucky, I guessed, in some dreadful way.

I got to the nearest chopper when I saw that a pilot was still there.

"GO!"

He didn't move. He was dead.

I pushed him away with a sigh and started the engine myself.

I was stopped by a terminator and crashed down on the ground.

With all the strength that I had left I shot him and picked up the transmitter from the ground.

"Base, over."

"It's base, over. Where are you?"

I gave them my position.

"Who are you?"

"John Connor."

"How many are there?"

"One!"

"We're sending a ship for you!"


	15. Chapter 15 signal

„I want to go to a Command Centre!" I said to the pilot when he picked me up.

"They refuse to see you," I got in answer.

"I don't care! Open the door!"

"But…"

"Now!" I jumped out of the ship, straight to the sea and soon found myself in submarine.

I was sat down in a chair in front of commanders.

"What the hell are you thinking?" asked one of them. "You are the only one who survived! You should be happy that you're alive!"

"My crew died down there. I have the right to know for what. Is it some new terminator?" I asked with a little hope in my voice.

"No."

Damn it!

"John, we found a special sound that can stop the machines."

"What?"

"SkyNet wanted to hide that information, but failed. We have a weapon! We can destroy SkyNet while using their own bomb! We think that the signal has to be uninterrupted, but it's ok, we'll keep it until we retract the chips."

"Signal?"

"Yes. It may be the key to win this war. Actually… we'll give it to you. You can test it. Now, you can go."

I stood up and went to the door.

"And be careful. We intercepted SkyNet's list of people they want to eliminate. You're second."

"Who's the first?" I asked, quite surprised.

"I don't know. Some civilian… Kyle… Reese… or something."

_My dad._

I came back home. It was hard for me to look in the eyes of my people and tell them that they wouldn't see so much of their loved ones and buddies.

Finally, I found myself just by my wife's workroom. She looked at me with relief and jumped to me to hug me. I put my arms tightly around her.

Then, as usual, I closed myself in my own room, listening to my mother's tapes about my father.

"Nothing. I have no idea where he is and SkyNet is hunting him down right this moment," I said when Cameron followed me.

"You'll succeed. I believe in you… And what about that signal? Can it really stop the machines?"

"Let's hope so." Suddenly I hit the table with my fist.

"John…"

"Kill Kyle. Reset the future. No John Connor," I sighed.

"You're still here and you'll find him."

"We're ready!" One of my men knocked on my door. "The signal is ready for testing!"


	16. Chapter 16 attempt

So, we tested the sound on one of smaller machines.

"Unbelievable," I said while looking at stilled terminator. "Ok, now, turn it off."

The machine came to life immediately.

"So, we do need an interrupted signal, but it can be arranged," I said. "I need that sound to test it in field."

"Right away, sir."

"I'll try it on something bigger."

"If you're listening to this, you are the Resistance," I was saying, "It's another part of my clues. If you encounter a 800 model you have to stick a knife to the back of its neck, it would stall it for a while and you will manage to escape… This is John Connor."

"John!" my man just burst inside. "Come here! You have to see this!"

I ran after him. Cameron was already standing in front of the screen.

"Here," she pointed the spot on the virtual map. "Machines are just going crazy. They never wandered so far away from their base without a reason."

"You think it may be Kyle?" I asked.

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Send out soldiers there to check it up. I'll go check the signal."

I took one of my men and we flew a few kilometers from our base.

"Look! There's a hunter!" he pointed the horizon.

"Ok, now!" I yelled. "Play it in loop!"

Machines on hearing the signal just… dropped to the ground.

"This is it!" I yelled while jumping happily. "It works!" I reached for my transmitter. "Connor. Over."

"Commander Centre. Over."

"The signal is working!"

"No problems?"

"Affirmative!"


	17. Chapter 17 marcus

„Connor?"

„Over."

„We'll attack SkyNet soon and We will win this war."

"John!" Cameron called me. "Blair is back! She brought somebody with her. He saved her life."

"Who is it?" I asked while approaching her.

They just carried him inside, he was wounded.

"I don't know what happened. The mine set off," Blair explained. "There are magnetic, so I really have no ide…"

"Does he have a prostatic limp?" Cameron asked. "His legs is shattered… John…" her voice changed. Now it sounded warningly, I could sense her fear.

T800?

I didn't even think that it might not work, I just hit the man in the head and surprisingly, he lost his consciousness.

"He's damaged, that's probably why it worked," my wife said.

"Examine him," I told them, I could feel something was off.

"But it's just T800…"

"Do it!"

"John?" Cameron walked into our room. "We finished. You were right. His heart's beating."

I looked at her in shock.

"So…"

"It was a human. That is what I will become."

I got to her and put my arms on her shoulders.

"I love you! We finally found a way!... but, wait, it doesn't mean that he doesn't work for SkyNet."

"Well, yeah."

"Maybe SkyNet wanted to confuse you, get inside here, kill you?" she suggested. "You want to interrogate him?"

"Yeah. Take me to him."


	18. Chapter 18 man or machine

The machine was hanging in the air, captured, chained.

I entered the room with my wife and we stood at the distance, Blair was already there.

"What's your name?"

"Marcus Wright."

"Who are you?"

"I'm a soldier. I was born…"

"You didn't born!" I denied. "You were created!

"John!" it was Blair. "Why do you think he has bad intentions? He saved my life!"

"Only because he wanted to get to me! To kill me and then all of you!... I want to be alone with him, Blair."

Finally, she was gone.

"Do you think you're human?" I asked him.

"Yes!"

"So, look…" I undo the straps that were keeping his head still and let him look down.

When he noticed the metal in his chest he started screaming.

"What have you done to me?"

"We? Nothing. It's SkyNet. You're working for them."

"I don't work for anybody! I didn't even know it existed!"

"Yeah, sure," I snorted.

"John, what if…" Cameron started, but I interrupted her:

"He wants to kill me."

"Why would I want to kill you?" Marcus asked. "I don't even know you!"

"Oh, yes, you do know me," I said while coming closer to him. "You and me… we've been at war before I was even born. You tried to kill my mother, Sarah Connor, you killed my father, Kyle Reese. You will not kill me."

He looked at me closely and then he said something that stirred me.

"Kyle Reese is on the transporter, heading for SkyNet. If I'd wanted to kill him, I would've done it in LA. I came here for help to save him!"

I couldn't stand it anymore, I left the room.

"John!" Cameron followed me.

I didn't speak.

"John, wait!... What is he's right?"

"He is," I agreed. "I have to stop the planned attack on SkyNet or… they'll erase me."

"Command," I said to my transmitter.

"Over."

"It's John Connor. My people are not ready to attack. We have to be prepared and we don't have enough time. If we want to win this war…"

"I refuse, Connor. We'll attack SkyNet tomorrow. It's my last word."

"But there are prisoners in there!" I raised my voice. "Let me save them!"

"We've already lost a lot, Connor, if some more sacrifices will help us win this war, then we have to come to terms with that!"

"You don't understand! You're acting exactly like them right now! SkyNet is the one who plan its attack without caring about anything else! If we act like them… then we're no better…"

"Enough, Connor. We're humans, that's the difference."

"No! If we attack tomorrow… then we're all gonna die!"

"I take away your command, Connor."

I smashed the transmitter in rage.

"I didn't hear that last part," one of my man said. "What are your orders, commander?"


	19. Chapter 19 man in machine

„You want to see me, Connor?" my soldier barged in.

"Me?" I asked, surprised. "You were supposed to watch over Marcus."

"Blair said…"

I understood in a second and we both ran back in there.

But it was empty. There was no sign of Blair nor Marcus.

I told my people to pursue them and I jumped to my chopper. Unfortunately, the machines that were in the water attacked me and the chopper went down.

I was saved by… well, Marcus.

I got to the shore and pointed my gun at him, but he just raised his hands in surrender.

"You want to find Kyle Reese…" he said, "I can help you. I can get you inside SkyNet."

I couldn't decide whether to trust him or not, but… my wife would be one of them one day, wouldn't she?

"John, I didn't kill you. I ran. I could've taken that gun from you right now, but I won't. I just found out about SkyNet."

"Ok," I found myself agreeing. "You'll get me in so I would save my father and the rest of SkyNet's prisoners."

"How will I contact you?" he asked.

I gave him my transmitter.

"Ok."

"What are you?" I yelled after him.

"I don't know," the answer came.

I came back to my base.

Blaire was caught and tied up.

"Why did you free him?" I asked her.

"Because I saw a man, not a machine," she answered.

"Let her go," I told my soldier and let the room.

I went to my room.

"This is John Connor, if you're listening to this, you are the Resistance. Today the Command Centre will tell you to attack SkyNet, but I'm asking you not to. If you do this our chances for winning this war will disappear once and for all. We'll lose. I'm asking you to postpone it. We can win this war, but not today. We're not ready. This is John Connor."

Then, I packed myself up and was ready to go.

I looked Cameron in the eye, kissed her and left.


	20. Chapter 20 skynet

When I hit the road I knocked out one of the mototerminators and headed straight to SkyNet. I sneaked up to the door and waited… waited…

Then, finally, I received a message from Marcus. He unlocked the door. First success – I was in.

I walked straight into the place where they kept prisoners, so I started letting them go free.

"Run to exit! Run!" I was screaming. "I'm looking for Kyle Reese! Kyle Reese?"

Few minutes passed by and still, no sign of Kyle. The corridor was already empty.

They couldn't have killed him! Then… I would stop exist, right? But could a man just vanish?

I went deeper in. Kyle was number 1 on SkyNet list, so they had to keep him somewhere else.

Some door opened on my left and… I was standing face to face with the exact terminator that had saved me once, when I was little, but before that… he'd tried to kill my mother.

I started shooting, managed to slow him down for a moment. When we reached another room I burned him, but still… he went on.

When I was running away from him I bumped into some kid.

"What's your name?"

"Kyle Reese."

I stilled. Dad! Oh god… I was just looking into the eyes of my father… but he would never know, unless he would figure it all out by himself.

"This way!" I pulled him to a stock place.

There was a little girl with him, so I did my best to stop the terminator from getting to them.

Suddenly, the elevator appeared. Marcus? Maybe he sent it. Never mind.

"Go in!" I told the children.

"What about you?"

"I can manage. You're more important!"

"What's your name?" Kyle asked me when the elevator moved up.

"John Connor!" I yelled to him.

He looked at me exactly the same as Cameron had done once. My guess – broadcasting.

Finally, the machine got me.

When I thought I wouldn't make it, when I thought I would just die… Marcus appeared and… bought a hit straight to his heart.

Shit! He couldn't be dead!

I managed to electrocuted him and brought him back, but then… pain. Pain in my chest.

I looked down on a spike sticking out of it, the machine just killed me, I thought. They succeeded. Cameron was right, I wasn't invincible.

Marcus was raged now and destroyed the machine…

_I know, it sucks… but it gets better_


	21. Chapter 21 heart for heart

Marcus took me back to my ship.

"JOHN!" I heard Cameron's scream and a moment after that I was lying in her arms. We were flying away.

The little girl that was with Kyle handed me something, it was a detonator. I pushed the button and blew the SkyNet facility up. Even though, it was destroyed now, there was still a lot of machines out there. The war was just starting.

"We need medical help!" one of my soldiers was yelling to his transmitter. "We have a wounded one! It's John Connor!"

I lost my consciousness.

When I woke up I was lying on a cot. My chest was bandaged, I had difficulties with breathing. Cameron was standing over me, crying. I could read everything from her eyes. I failed. I was dying.

I took her hand to give her some comfort.

She just wiped the tears away and walked to the group of people standing in the distance.

"I saved him, but…" I managed to hear. Cameron was speaking very quietly, but I had a good hearing. "…his…. heart… won't hold."

There was silence.

"Kyle…" I horsed, so he came over to me.

"Take this," I pointed my coat. "You are the Resistance now."

He was touched by my words.

He didn't know that there was a picture of my mother in the pocket of that coat. The picture that was supposed to change his whole life. Maybe Cameron would succeed with sending him back in time, maybe there was still hope for carrying my legacy on. Maybe somebody else would win that war if not me.

There was no fate, only what we made.

"Kate…" Marcus spoke, "take mine."

We all looked at him. He put his hand on his heart.

"Marcus…" Blair started.

"Everybody deserves for second chance, right? This is mine," he said. "John… the signal that you discovered… it was a trick. It was SkyNet's plan all along. Your Command Centre was blew up."

…So that was how I became the leader of the Resistance.

Blair kissed Marcus goodbye and I thanked him, I was sure he could read it all from the expression on my face. I was too touched to speak.

So, we won the battle, but not the war. We would fight on, though.


	22. Chapter 22 goodbye dad

It took us month to deal with our loses and finally got back on our feet, but we did it.

As I'd predicted – I was the leader now.

And now I had another burdens - turning Cameron into a machine, sending Kyle back through time…

I didn't know what would happen first…

Cameron had given me a son and we, somehow, managed to live as happy as we could in those times. Just from day to day, trying not to think too much of the future. I didn't want to leave her side, I didn't want anything happen to her. Maybe something in me still foolishly believed that I could cheat fate and save her.

I'd become more alert when our daughter was born. I didn't think we would have any more children, so it meant that soon something would happen. Something bad.

Our son was named Kyle (the actual Kyle was really touched, but still, I didn't tell him what was the real reason for naming him that and our daughter was Sarah.

The answer came – I got an info that machines sent their terminator back to kill my mother… I had to send Kyle then…

"John, don't worry. It'll be alright. It will work. Kyle will get there safe and sound."

"I know. I'm just afraid… we've come so far…. Something must go wrong…"

"John, everything's always wrong. Half a year ago machines almost destroyed our home. It's still not safe."

"Shh…" I put my finger her lips. "Honey, let's not think about that anymore, ok? What's important is that we survived. Again."

"When are you sending Kyle?" she asked me.

"In an hour," I sighed heavily. "Everything's already set. The year, day, hour…"

"Place?"

"That too." I smiled to her and kissed her. "You know what's strange?"

"What?"

"I don't feel like I have a father. It was me who was taking care of him, not the other way round."

"It's all strange, I understand, John, but you met him. That's what's important."

"Yeah, you're right, but again… how can I send him there to die?"

"John, he's constantly staring at the picture you gave him. Believe me, it's better for him that his life is short, but there is love in it, then the other way around. Besides, war always takes casualties, this time it has to be your father. I'm sorry, that's just the way life is. It's messy and painful."

I didn't tell him what I wanted from him exactly right away…

"So, John… why do you want to send me back in time?" I met him at the right place, near the time traveling machine.

"Kyle… first I have to ask you again… do you have something against it?"

"No," he answered quickly. "I'm ready for anything for you."

"Good, because I want you to save my mother's life."

"Wait… what?"

"You will find my mother, Sarah Connor, and you will save her from T800 that was sent back to kill her."

He swallowed, surprise and astonishment on his face, but then he just nodded. He really grew up.

"You will finally meet the woman from that picture you keep staring at," I joked to unload the atmosphere a little.

He laughed.

"So… I think… this is goodbye…"

"Yes."

"It was an honor, John," he told me.

"No, the honor was all mine," I said and hugged him.

And that was the last time I saw my father.

We knew each other for a very short period of time, but it was enough for me to notice why my mother had fallen for him so fast… Kyle was one of its kind.

"He was so like you," Cameron noticed, "you know… when he became older he even started to look a little like you. He didn't notice, fortunately."


	23. Chapter 23 machines

Sometime later I heard rumors that SkyNet was building a new kind of terminator. This time with a one and only mission – to kill me.

That was the moment I started hunting for one to send him back to save me the second time.

All I had to do was to wander into SkyNet new place. It wasn't so technology advanced like the previous one, but it was their command after all. The old T800 were used to patrol the neighborhood.

I found one and I was just about to get him when I heard some noise behind me.

Cameron.

"What the hell are you doing here? You were supposed to protect our kids now! I don't want them to be hurt, or you for that matter!" I hissed at her.

"Relax. You won't do this alone, John," she just said.

I almost laughed. It was so like her.

So, I just sighed and let her shoot.

"50 seconds! Hurry!" she said.

"Ok, now, switch it!"

I did as she said and I moved back immediately when it started getting up.

"John Connor…" it spoke, "on your command."

I was relieved. I told him exactly what he was supposed to do.

"Not far from here, there is a n abandoned station," Cameron said, "we can use it. They must have the time travelling machine."

I nodded.

We found it quickly and Cameron turned the machine on.

Terminator stepped in.

"Ok, let's go… 3, 2… 1!" There was a flash light and it was gone.

"Let's go back. I'm still here, so we succeeded," I told her.

She smiled to me.

"I never doubted you," she said, opened to door and walked outside.

It happened within a second.

Scream and then, she disappeared, raised into the air.

"CAMERON!" I roared and opened fire to the machine that was picking up prisoners.

But it was already gone. It wasn't interested in me or… or it wanted to lure me in.


	24. Chapter 24 operation 'cameron'

I followed them, but kept myself out of sight. Years of practice taught me that after all.

I saw where the machine stopped. After the last incident SkyNet stopped keeping prisoners in their command and built a few separate places for them. I saw the machine stopping and then some T800 took only Cameron, to a different building.

Maybe it shouldn't surprised me, but I was shocked anyway. I wanted to run there to take her, rescue her, but I knew I would be dead before we would make it out of here.

And I couldn't kill John Connor. It was much bigger than the two of us and Cameron was the one who made me realize.

Instead, I just connected to my base and they promised to send back up within an hour.

"She can be dead in an hour!" I got angry.

"No, negative, she won't be dead, Connor. They want you, remember?"

Wait… I thought when I put down my transmitter. This was… it?

Cameron would die today.

I heard her scream ten minutes later. Scream full of pain. I clenched my fists, I seemed to be in even more pain, the one that wasn't physical, but did as much damage if not more.

Another fifteen minutes…

Finally! Back up was here!

"Connor, it'll better if you leave it to us," my soldier and also kind of friend patter my back. "I mean… you don't want to see this."

I just nodded.

"Hurry!"

They burst inside and opened fire. They were well trained and they knew where to aim to put down a machines for couple of minutes.

Then they started fighting the machines that kept prisoners too.

In the same moment three of my man brought Cameron. Not good.

I ran to the ship and jumped inside, waiting for them to bring her to me.

They jumped inside and I yelled to the pilot:

"Take off!"

The ships were too so the rest of my soldiers had a way out after all.

"Her bones are broken…" my soldiers informed me.

I looked at her battered body and wanted to touch her so badly… but didn't even know if I caused her more pain with it, so I just stroked her hand.

"Honey…" tears in my eyes.

"I did… didn't… say any… anything…" she just whispered. "They wanted… you… but I didn't…" and she closed her eyes.

"Honey! No!" I screamed.

"God, John, her injuries are too severe… she's bleeding too much… we won't be able to save her."

I swallowed hard.

She'd told me she would be attacked, but she hadn't told me that she would be tortured? I thought going back to the times before The Judgment Day. She didn't want me to stop the attack, she didn't want me not to look for her… she must really love me…

The same I loved her…

I took a transmitter and connected my base.

"This is John Connor. Prepare operation "Cameron"."

"Roger that, Connor."


	25. Chapter 25 my machine

They were waiting for us when we landed and immediately got to us to take Cameron. She was unconscious, barely alive.

I got out of the ship last, feeling so helpless. I didn't know anything about operations, I wasn't a doctor and I couldn't watch either. I wouldn't stand the sight of them taking out my wife's insides and putting it into something else…

I slowly, on wobbly feet walked inside the building, to the hospital part and sat down in a chair immediately. My body was slightly shaking.

"John… what am I supposed to tell your children?" one of my men asked me while coming over to me.

I was sitting down with my face in my hands, listening to the sounds coming from the next door.

"Just… take care of them… tell them that… their parents will be back in a couple of days," I said, my voice hoarse.

"No problem." He was gone.

I couldn't face my children now, they would know in an instant that something was wrong with their mum, I couldn't have them going through this like I did. The best option was to keep them out of it.

The door opened. I didn't know how much time had passed, it seemed like hours.

"John…"

I stood up immediately.

"It's ready. We've done everything we could. You can finish the job now."

"Have you gotten rid of…" I swallowed hard, "everything else? I don't want to see any…"

"Yes. It's taken care of. Don't worry."

So, I walked inside the room feeling sick in the stomach. Would it even work?

Cameron was lying on a cot. I could tell the difference between this one and the human. All that was giving her away as a machine was the small hole in her head. A place for the chip.

"Here you go…" I was given it and caught it with shaky hands.

I put it to the hole in her head. A wave of memories washed over me, from the times when I'd been a teenager and I'd been doing it so many times…

Then, the chip was on place.

"Cameron… can you hear me?" I asked, uncertain.

She opened her eyes.

"John…" but her expression changed in an instant. "I… John… I don't know why… they're telling me to…"

"What? What is it, Cameron?"

"I can't stop…" she caught a scalpel and threw it at me.

Fortunately, I caught it in the right time, it cut my hand a little, but it was better than the alternative.

"Cameron, don't! I love you! You don't want to kill me!"

"I can't… stop…" Her eyes full of tears.

"What the hell is wrong with that chip?" I turned to my men.


	26. Chapter 26 wife in a machine

Help came and took me away from her. A while after that those two men were lifted in the air and thrown into the wall. It was a relief to notice they weren't dead.

I got to the exit, but I noticed a defibrillator. I took it and without even thinking I out it to my wife's chest.

It electrocuted her and she fell on the floor, unconscious. But for how long?

I took the very same scalpel she'd wounded me with and took the chip out of her head. Then, I just lain on the floor, exhausted.

It was like a one big déjà vu. I'd done this before. This was the same Cameron that had found me. Two faces that were one, loved one.

I took the chip and did everything I thought would work, then I put it back into place.

She opened her eyes and when I looked in them I finally saw the woman I loved.

I felt strangely shaky, like I was about to cry, but I restrain that urge.

"Cameron…" I whispered.

"John…" She smiled. "I feel… weird… I'm too strong."

"You get used to it."

"Yeah…" He face changed. "Oh God! Did I hurt somebody?"

"No… they'll be fine."

"But I…"

"It's ok. It's nothing serious."

"Your hand's bleeding."

"It's just a superficial injury."

One of my men walked over to us and started sawing the opening in her head.

"It was horrible… I loved you, but I was too weak to stop it…"

"John, she's nothing like Marcus," I heard.

"She's not?" I got scared.

"We examined him completely, but he had something that was giving him free will. We couldn't replicate this, so that is why Cameron has that old kind of chip. We had to use some parts from older models."

I sighed.

"It was meant to be." I got up and helped Cameron out.

"That is why we didn't remember about the chip."

"Never mind." I took my wife's hand. "Auch…" I hissed when she took it a little too tight.

"I'm sorry… I have to learn how to control my powers…" she said, quite embarrassed. "I don't want to hurt you." She moved back.

"Give me a hug."

"No."

"Come on! You won't hurt me. Just… try to feel it. Don't use too much strength."

She hesitated, but then she came closer again. It was a little tighter than usual, but I was fine. I hid my face in her hair.

"I'm so glad I got you back…"


	27. Chapter 27 last mission

Few weeks passed by. I was watching Cameron Chile being completely amazed. She learnt everything so fast… she knew how to control her strength now, how to move and look like human. Soon, I couldn't tell the difference… although it was there, she stopped sleeping and she couldn't have any more children. Every night she laid by my side and she was there every morning. She could do a lot during that time, but somehow she preferred to be with me…

"Aren't you bored during nights?" I asked one day.

"I love watching you sleep. The hours are passing by so quickly…"

"When the war is over…"

"John…" she interrupted and I could notice sadness on her face. "Every day I'm afraid that I loss you. The future is almost here and we have no idea what is next. Soon you'll send me to you in the past and when I come back… we won't know what… I just… can't let you die."

"Honey…" I cupper her face. "You'll protect me. You're stronger now."

"Not strong enough to stand up to the whole SkyNet."

I hugged her.

"I'm not going anyway. You won't get rid of me that easily," I told her in very bad attempt to joke.

We both knew we could promise each other everything and keep comforting each other that by, but the truth was… we didn't know the future now and we could both easily die soon.

Couple of days later I decided to send her back.

I did it alone. I didn't want anybody around us.

I held her in my arms for a very long time. For me it would be just a day, but I knew that she would have to withstand much much more… She had the most difficult task of her life in front of her. What if the future wasn't planned at all? What if she still could fail? We preferred not to think about it.

"I love you. We'll see each other soon…" she said and… I was left alone.


	28. Chapter 28 uncertain

I went to see my children. It helped me to not think about their mother, but after all I had to come back to our empty room that night. Strangely, I felt like I'd been feeling in the past before I'd even found her. I couldn't sleep, thinking about the moment she'd appeared in my life. She must've been so scared for my life, so scared that she might not succeed after all… and I hadn't been helping either. I'd been just a stupid teenager.

I was scared of two things: her reaction when she would come back and what we would do next. Until now I'd been living by clues from my mother, from my past and… they were gone. The future would be dark and unknown what was scaring the hell out of me. That how people felt… I thought ironically. They were going through life, day by day… terrified that there might be no tomorrow.

Now, it was a time to proof myself as a good leader. Now, it was my test.

_I was standing with a gun in my hand, aiming it at my mother and uncle._

"_John…"_

"_No! I'll shoot! I swear!" I was holding Cameron's chip in my other hand and her body was lying right next to me…_

I woke up in an instant and sat on the bed. This moment appeared in my mind so vividly that I had the impression it happened yesterday. I remembered it now with the smallest details and suddenly thought that everything would be just fine…

The next day I went to the room with the time traveling machine on wobbly feet.

She was supposed to come back soon…

Then, I saw the light…


	29. Chapter 29 cameron's back

My wife appeared in the middle of the room.

I got to her fast and put a blanket over her body. She was shaking and suddenly she just clang to me, putting her arms around my neck, hugging my tight.

"Honey… Cameron… what happened? Something's wrong?" I asked, quite concerned. But I was still there, wasn't I?

"No… nothing went wrong…" she stammered and let me go. She wiped her tears out and cupped my face, looking deep into my eye. "John?" she finally asked.

"Yes?"

"I missed you so much and yet, you were there, but it wasn't totally you… I can't find the right words to describe it. I fell for you all over again. Since that time… you've changed so much! But still. You were and you are wonderful. I just wish I knew you as a teenager before I got to know you as a mature man. I would understand you better."

"You always understood me."

"Not in that way. I didn't know that strength of you well, that stupor, courage, craziness…" she smiled, "I know you think I'm babbling and it might not have sense… but… I can't find the right words and… I can't stop looking at you!"

"Let's go."

I took her to our bedroom, to bed.

She lain next to me, her head and hand on my torso. It was only one night, but I missed her so much…

"When I saw I was shocked," she admitted. "You looked so… different, but my heart was beating faster anyway. I got used to the new… or old… you, but still, I missed you," she sighed, "I thought I would screw everything up, that you would just see me as a machine and nothing else… But when you saved me back then… when you put the chip back into my head after I wanted to kill you… I knew. I knew that sooner or later you would stop pretending that you didn't love me… When that car exploded earlier…" she shivered, "it was the very same feeling I had when I woke up as a machine for the first time. I don't want to go through that ever again!"

She stopped talking for a moment, but then she continued:

"You weren't that muscular then," she said while sliding her hand through my chest. I knew it was her attempt for a joke.

"You missed it?" I asked, playing her game.

"Nah… maybe a little…" she giggled. "But it was good to get to know you as a teenager. You are special, John, and your mother… I've never met and I think I will never meet such a brave woman."

"Yeah…" I sighed again at her memory. "You're right. She sacrificed everything for me. I couldn't come to terms with the fact that I lost her… She would make an excellent soldier."

"John… you can't change anything. You had to go through this."

We slowly fell asleep while talking, sharing our points of views, thinking about that lost times…


	30. Chapter 30 impasse

It'd been a week. We'd already told each other about our feelings and thoughts from particular moments of the past. It was so strange. We were the only couple like that in this world and we would probably be the very last as well. Our story was beautiful, but so sad in the same time. Now, we finally knew each other well, understood each other like never before. We were more close.

Now, we have to figure out what to do next, what should we do.

I focused on improvement of my army and Cameron was raising our children. Every single day I was analyzing everything, thinking about our chances against SkyNet. We had to attack someday and I knew we probably had only one shot. Still, I thought that I had not enough soldiers, not enough weapon… I didn't know if I should attack, but if our chances wouldn't be higher in the future at all?

"John, I think we should attack," Cameron told me when I joined her in bed that night.

"What if we lose too much?" I sighed. "I was thinking about one strong attack…"

"You want to risk everything? Years of preparation?"

"I did, but… if we lose we would have to start all over again… if we even survive… My parents' death, Marcus's sacrifice… it can't be wasted now!"

"Remember when Marcus wanted to destroy SKyNet from the inside?" she suddenly asked, very excited.

"What do you mean?"

"We have to destroy SkyNet from the inside," she repeated, her eyes sparkling.

"If you mean some T800 and switched chip…"

"I mean… me," she just said, leaving me bewildered.

I was sitting on our bed, shocked.

"You can't be serious!" I moaned.

"I am."

"I can't let you do that!"

"I know… if you die, I die… It was my decision to program myself like that… but don't you forget that it works only in one side."

"Cameron, no, I can't let you do that! You'll die!"

"Even if… that's the only choice we've got!"

"Honey, no," I said stubbornly.

"I have the right to decide about myself. It was exactly what Marcus did."

"And he died!"

"For you! I can cheat SkyNet! I'll just say that you created me, but you did it wrong and I want to kill you. I will enter their command to tell them I made you follow me, I made a fool out of you, I deceived you. I'll tell them that I'm a batter version of Marcus and you were the one who created me! What an irony!"

I didn't say a word.

"John, listen to me." She got more serious now. "You can gather army, produce ammunition and train your people, but how can you be sure if SkyNet soon won't be even more advanced than ever? IT develops quicker than we are and it has so much better technology. It will always have the advantage over us." She cupped my face. "I'm scared too, but it's the only way. Maybe it all happened just for THAT moment."

"There is no fate, but what we make," I said.

"You're right. And you know, why? Because we have a choice! We can go along that planned path, but we can also say no. I want to go, because I know that there is and will not be any better one."

"I don't want to lose you."

"You sent your own father to die, because you had no choice, but you gave him the love he was looking his whole life in the same time! You've been happy with me long enough… Think about your uncle's, your mather's and Marcus's sacrifices. They all died for you, because they believed that you were the one to give people hope for the future. Don't waste that sacrifices. "

I had tears in my eyes, so did she.

I knew she was right. I knew it deep down inside, but I didn't want to admit that.

"Honey…" I whispered, "don't you even forget how much I love you. Try to get out of there alive. Whatever happens… whatever gets damaged… we can fix you."

"I swear I'll do my best."


	31. Chapter 31 before the attack

The next day we started to preparing ourselves for the attack.

"I'll enter SkyNet, tell them I'm not armed and that you, John, failed in creating a good machine out of me. The will to kill you was gradually increasing until I became a part of SkyNet. I'll go there to kill you, because you will follow me and then I will just go to the source and destroy their main frame. I'll try to switch all the machine off."

"It's not a good idea," John said. "You will also turn off yourself."

"Yeah… but maybe you will be able to find me again. Honey, there will be no danger anymore. Maybe you will succeed in creating one generator just for me… but you know what? I don't want you to do anything to bring me back that can also bring SkyNet back. Even if there is the slightest change. You have to think about all the people still alive, about out children…"

"Exactly, they need mother!"

"Their mother died."

"But she's still here!" I was persistent.

"Promise me you won't do anything foolish," she demanded.

"Ok, ok, I promise," I sighed heavily."

"Good… how will I know that the others won't kill me when I enter SkyNet after you?"

"No, they'll let you through. They'll think they have everything under control and even SKyNet wouldn't pass up an opportunity like this. You will be killed by your _wife_. It'll destroy your feelings and that is what machines don't have, don't understand and don't want."

"You think they're so smart, but…"

"I'll tell them that my condition is to kill you myself, the rest will probably standby in case I failed. I'll try to be as quick as possible."

"If you will have to kill me to get to the core of SkyNet… you'll do it," I told her. "This war is bigger than we are."

"No…" she denied. "You forget about our children. Who would take care of them if we both gone?"

"Do what you have to do," I repeated.

"John, don't bring me back if it means…"

"I will bring you back."

This night we decided to go along with the plan. Cameron went to SkyNet…

"I love you."

"I love _you_."


	32. Chapter 32 last battle

I followed her and when I finally got closer to SkyNet Centre not a single machine attacked me. That was surprising and it could mean only one thing – Cameron succeeded. But after all it was easy to fool a machine when you actually were one. SkyNet couldn't even comprehend what I'd done to Cameron and would've never thought it could work. My wife had been right, I hadn't wanted to see that obvious thing, because I was afraid of losing her.

I entered the building. It looked different then the last one I'd been in and I didn't mean it in good way. Their technology was now much more advanced what sent cool chills down my spine.

Cameron was right once again.

I finally reached the command centre. It was a circle room, full of computers and panels. Cameron was standing in the middle, looking at me strangely. For a moment there I thought that SkyNet had done something to her like switching her chip or changing her, so she could really kill me.

The very moment she turned her back on me and got to the panels.

"What are you doing?" I heard a voice from the speakers. "Kill him!"

Cameron didn't react, so machines finally started coming toward us.

"I love you, John…" I heard her and then just when the first machine was supposed to finally shoot me… they all suddenly collapsed on to ground, along with my wife. Lifeless.

I understood what she'd done and couldn't believe my own eyes. We won! We just won the war!

"John Connor, base, over," I spoke to my transmitter.

"This is base, over."

"We've won. Send more people to clean that mess up and… a team for my wife. We have to fix her…"

She was still on the ground, with no life left in her and now she really looked more like a machine than a dead man.

Was there anything I could do for her? I still had hope, but I knew I couldn't turn it all back, because then… it would all be pointless…

I didn't even realize when I got to the floor and sat there, just waiting, not thinking at all… wishing I would get her back, not accepting defeat just yet. I couldn't break.

My people finally got here and took a look at the machines, panels and computers.

"John… I'm sorry… I can't see how we could bring Cameron back without jeopardizing…

"Just… be quiet…" I told him, shouting him down, not able to think clearly. Then, I just hid my face in my hands.

"This is John Connor… There is no Resistance anymore. There is no need, because… we are… finally… free! We've won this war. We can stop fearing the machines and finally get out of hiding to rebuild our world!"

Cleaning up the mess took us almost the whole year and yet, not everything was that machines had left behind was destroyed.

I'd been living like a ghost, just for my children, just for my world, I had no other reason… it hurt so badly… I missed her so badly…

It took me a while to find my mother's grave, but I finally succeeded. I'd promised myself once that I would come visit that place again now I could keep that promise.

I also wanted to bury Cameron's body here, not only the machine, but also move here her previous one…

Our children stayed in the ship, I didn't want them to see it just yet.

I buried the body and kneeled on the ground.

My uncle, Derek, was buried nearby as well. I never really had the courage to mention him after he died, it was too painful and the truth was… he'd been attacked by a machines couple of days before I'd been out in the shelter by Cameron.

_There is no fate, but what we make…_

I engraved on the tombstone when I was finally able to put one here.

* * *

Well, first, Cameron was supposed to survive and I see now that it wouldn't make sense and it would certainly not fit into Terminator genre.

I wrote that story about six years ago when I was a teenager and now I see how incomplete and full of holes it is, but… anyway, I published it.


End file.
